I have seen so many people on the internet talk about how some women are 'feminine' while some are more 'masculine'.
The first time I read this, it made me question my entire existence because I 'wanted to be' more feminine, because deep down I knew my heart was heavily tipping that way. Naturally, it confused the hell out of me and made me so self conscious that I was questioning every move I made. I was constantly worried about 'not acting like a man' which, ironically, is such a masculine thing to do- thinking and planning- but I didn't realize it.
I wanted to follow my intuition because that was the more feminine thing to do, but I was rationalizing it instead, fixating upon whether I was being intuitive or not, which is the opposite of being intuitive!
It was a never ending struggle, a nightmare, and I was only walking towards an illusion.
Something about me: I think a lot. I think all the time, and while I believe the treasure of knowledge is above all treasures, I still know that it is in the best interest of women to stop thinking.
Your intuitive power will strengthen immensely once you shut off your brain and blurt out the first thing in your head. It will strengthen when you open your heart and let it cry. Over time, it will strengthen so much that you will be able to make accurate predictions about the future, connect with other realms, past lives, etc.
Ultimately, there is no such thing as a masculine woman, because in a female body, she will always be feminine.
I have come to understand that a woman being 'more masculine' does not always refer to her clothes or the way she walks or talks, but the shield that she constantly has around her to protect herself from physical and mental pain.
Yes you can wear pants and still be immensely feminine. Shocker.
To understand this 'shield' better, you could begin noticing these behaviors in yourself.
When you lie down, it is hard for you to completely relax no matter how much you let your body loose. When you do end up relaxing for a second, your nerves start acting up again and you feel restless.
Your body is never relaxed in general, even while doing mundane tasks like cooking or taking a shower.
You feel the need to be in control of everything and have the compulsive need to do it 'right' each time.
Once you begin working on a task, sometimes it is hard for you to stop even to have food, or drink water.
Your legs compulsively shake while sitting.
You barely ever take slow, full breaths.
When you are physically hurt (eg.- stubbing your toe), the pain goes away really quickly, in fact, your pain tolerance is really high in general.
The list is long, but the jist is that you tend to be so hyper-focused on a task that you rationalize it unnecessarily, even if that task is to sleep- something that your body is supposed to do automatically. Your body will be stiff and anxious until you complete said task and do it right. Once it's done, you find something else to fixate upon and the cycle goes on.
This stiffness usually comes from having to step into a masculine role in the family, as a child- absent/emotionally unavailable fathers/father firgues, enduring a lot of physical or emotional pain (physical and mental abuse or trauma), having to take care of younger siblings as the oldest one, lack of privacy, etc. We as women, and a lot of men as well, subconsciously feel the need to be 'tough' mentally and physically as the masculine counterpart of the family to the point where we refuse to let ourselves feel any kind of physical or emotional pain ever. Each muscle in our body is subconsciously trained to be stiff and tensed at all times, and it seems like we can never relax even if we are supposed to be falling asleep. This could also lead to bad sleep schedules and routines.
In reality, you will still constantly feel pain even if you tell yourself or your body that you don't.
We eventually completely stop letting go of anything. Every little thing that does not go our way starts affecting us deeply, and we get majorly disconnected from our passion and intuition.
And a good relationship requires letting go of a lot, whether it is with your parents, lover, friends, or children.
We hold onto people as possessions which is counterproductive to feeling, experiencing, and expressing true love and letting someone love you back. We try to make them bend to our own ever-changing, newformed standards and hope to keep them locked in a little box like trinkets on our mantle. We start believing that the world revolves around us, instead of coming together as one with the other person, and working towards a common goal. We begin putting less and less effort into caring for the other while thanklessly expecting more and more.
True love in any relationship- blood or not- requires feminine submission from both sides. It requires the penance and passion of Venus. That is why spirituality and love go hand in hand.
This is also one of the reasons why in astrology, Venus is considered an enemy to the Sun, as the Sun is our individuality and ego, while love requires putting one's ego down over and over again.
Now that we may have been made aware of our issues, what do we do about them?
Well, first and foremost, spiritual practices immensely help in automatically resolving those issues. However, if you're not into that, you could also consider the following.
1. Mindfulness and Taking Frequent Breaks
Having a general awareness of your body, and making an effort to relax your shoulders and stomach begins conditioning your mind to make relaxation a habit. You could grab a glass of water or a snack to break the monotony of the task at hand if you've been working too long.
Often we become fixated on 'winning' at the task, and enjoying the feeling of completing it, rather than actually enjoying doing it. This is why the Moon (sensorium, feeling, enjoyment) is debilitated in Scorpio which is relative to the 8th house in astrology, and opposite to the 2nd house of sensual enjoyment. In the fiery nakshatra of Jyeshtha (nakshatra of Indra, obsession with warfare and winning), for example, it makes one obsessed with achieving bigger and bigger things each time (like money, tasks, material possessions, career success, sexual partners) while receiving no real satisfaction from the victory. The Moon is exalted in Krittika nakshatra in Taurus, which relates to Agni/sacred fire burning things down to their purest form without any adulteration, i.e., assimilating food/knowledge into the body properly and nourishing it, as the 2nd house relates to the family and its blessings, knowledge, material enjoyment, and food. One does not feel scarcity and feels abundantly blessed here, whereas hyper-fixation comes from a feeling of scarcity, like "what if I don't achieve this" or "what if I miss out on the reward that comes with this".
Therefore, just that tiny, mundane action of having a glass of water or having a snack, breaks the monotony and helps our mind to cool down.
2. Posture and Breathing Exercises
Oftentimes, we are not in the habit of taking full, slow breaths due to our horrible postures. As someone who used to have a bad posture (and still struggles with it occasionally), let me tell you, it actually hurts to breathe. Stiffness and short breaths are a sign of fear in the body. It is something that your body does when it senses danger. Perpetually breathing this way sends a message to the body that there is danger around even when there isn't, and the body stays in a state of constant anxiety. Mindfulness in this area and making an effort to slow down your breathing sends a message that there is no fear around, and it becomes a positive cycle.
You can also try breathing exercises every now and then like pranayam.
3. Sensual Touches
Life is hectic, so we must make time to touch ourselves.
And no it does not have to be sexual.
A major part of femininity is learning to use our physical body in a sensual way, therefore, we need to work on connecting with and nurturing it.
Even if you don't have any time at all during the day, you still have moments when you are alone and away from people, responsibilities, and children, like in the shower. That is a great time to slow down and really, deeply indulge in sensual touches. You can start by touching your arms and legs slowly and really take the time to connect with the feeling without labeling it as anything in words. You can eventually move to each and every single part of the body like ears, face, feet, etc.
When you do any of the practices that I mentioned above and finally end up relaxing your body even for a few seconds, you will realize how sensitive your body actually is, and how deeply you feel every single touch and every single breeze.
Eventually we become 'more feminine' and realize we like beautifying our body (and environment) even without makeup.
As I mentioned in the paradox between the 2nd house and 8th house, or Taurus and Scorpio above, it is important to understand the 8th house for any transformation to take place. Women are naturally intuitive and therefore have a natural affinity to the watery moksha house (4, 8, 12 or Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces), which makes the 8th house extremely crucial for feminine and occult practices.
And so we must learn this about ourselves- what turns us on- so that we could immerse and indulge in it and always do things according to our will, rather than settling for anything different.
Approaching it rationally, however will do us no good.
Therefore, you must feel every touch and really truly experience it sensually to understand what you like, not just sexually but in life in general. For a happy and content life, as a woman, you must learn to 'orgasm' through indulging in materialism as it makes you less desperate about having sex with men just to feel a few minutes of 'connection', and increases your own magnetism in the long run when you do refuse to give in to anyone and everyone, and wait for the right one.
I wrote a blog post about this a few months ago, which you can read here: Orgasms Through Materialism
Eventually, you realize that sensuality in life is like good sex. Orgasming or 'winning' as I mentioned above, is not the end goal, but rather the experience or the deep enjoyment of it is. The more you focus on 'orgasming' or getting over with things quickly, the less you enjoy or understand them, and life in general.
When your body learns to be relaxed majority of the time, it gets easier to discern when it is truly in danger or unsure. You feel stiff only in the presence of a certain person or in a certain situation, instead of all the time, and so your body can actually detect danger rather than having a 'tainted' radar.
Where does submission come into play here, you ask?
As I mentioned, letting your body loose is a form of submission, but it is not submission to a person, but rather to the Universe and God. It helps you to not submit to anyone or anything, no matter how much you love or want it/them, until you are conquered by it/them by sheer masculine force. This helps you save yourself from unwanted situations like getting into relationships that are not in accordance with your will, having undesirable physical relationships, etc.
Revealing the hidden Universal secrets require diving deep into the feminine waters, for both men and women. Shukracharya, or Venus, is the tantric guru or the guru of the 'asuras' because he beholds the innate understanding of feminine nature within his fiery masculinity. He is said to have performed harsh penance by hanging upside down from a tree with fire burning underneath it, to obtain the Sanjeevani Mantra from Lord Shiva.
Venus is exalted in Pisces in the absolute final nakshatra of Revati, which is relative to the 12th house which is a moksha house. The deity of Revati is Pushan, who is said to be a hermaphrodite, which is the coming together of both male and female energies or Shiva and Shakti. Therefore, the planet of love is exalted in such a spiritual and abundant nakshatra relative to the 12th house of the astral, because ultimately, there is no true love without spiritual work. Here, one understands that spirituality does not mean shunning or running away from relationships and sex, but rather two opposites coming together in an alchemical process to create something divine. Therefore, individual submission to the divine is absolutely necessary before submitting to another human being.
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