"I don't feel like Adulting today"
In today's world, everything is a meme. It has become a trend to spend hours on social media, scrolling from account to account, feeling the dire need to relate to every single thing on the internet. Although, it has brought about a lot of positive change and awareness in the world, it's easy to get immersed in it in all the wrong ways as well.
If we relate to every single meme on the internet as teenage girls, it's somewhat understandable, but as young women, if we still do, we need to ask ourselves if we've truly grown over the years.
It is very important to understand that we as young ladies are rapidly moving forward towards becoming professionals in our own respective fields, regardless of whether we choose to be at the career-woman or the stay-at-home-mother end of the spectrum. No matter what we choose, we will be required to excel at it. Despite knowing that excellence is a gradual process, we wait until we land a job, or some sort of a 'new beginning' to develop our personality.
What we don't realize is that it's the other way round. We manifest new beginnings by starting our transformation. It is not cool to have a messy teenage girl room as a young lady. It is not cool to not know how to cook. It is not cool to not care about our appearances at all and show up to class or work in sweats. There is a huge difference between being cool, and being careless, and it's easy to fall into the latter, trying too hard to fall into the former.
Carelessness is rarely ever liked or entertained by anybody, whether it is our peers, our bosses, our colleagues, or our family, which is why we need to make positive changes.
So how do we go about beginning the gradual process?
Character Development
Before we can make any small or big changes in our lives, we need to understand our character. Our personality is what we are born with as well as what we have shaped throughout our lives, whereas our character is how we treat situations or people. If we put efforts into developing our character, our personality automatically elevates, opening doors to several career, networking, and relationship opportunities.
We all know the basic positive characteristics- discipline, productivity, determination, loyalty, honesty, calmness, respect, understanding, care, etc. but we need to ask ourselves whether we fit into a majority of the positive traits or the negative ones. Success is not monetary for everybody, but no matter what it is for us, we need to make sure we nurture and develop our character not only because it makes us a better person, but because it helps us give back to the people around us. As we know, the world works on the barter system of tangible as well as intangible goods and services, and a good character always has something to give.
Nobody is born perfect, which is why a positive change is necessary. Question yourself and be honest.
"Am I meeting my goals?"
"Am I being productive?"
"Am I being understanding?"
"Am I nurturing myself enough while nurturing others?"
All these questions, and more, are essential for us to have a connection with ourselves. Once we know what we're falling short of, it gets easier to overcome that, compared to when we are in denial about it. That is the quality of a character, it can be molded however you want. So why not mold it in a positive direction?
Our good character is what will help us think calmly in the worst of situations, handle everything with grace and poise, be understanding and empathetic towards our friends and family, and leave behind what's negative and toxic for our growth.
Taking Action
Deciding 'I have a positive disposition from today onward' is not enough. We need to make sure we are constituting those elements in our day to day lives, and failing to do so as less as possible.
Go the extra mile. Appreciate your community members regularly, offer to help as much as possible, follow basic etiquette, avoid talking behind people's backs, say the magic words- please, thank you, and sorry, request instead of demanding, etc. It does not make us submissive, it makes us classy. Being submissive is a personality trait, not a part of our character. We can be gentle and calm and nurturing, yet be respected because of the energy we emit. Energies are strong.
However, assertiveness is still needed. If we are trying to get something done, we need to say it like we mean business and everybody will oblige, and yes, it is still possible to be gentle. Joking around all the time with everybody might make people not take us seriously. It is a part of growing up. It is not shallow or pretentious or boring. However, people catch on to it when we are being too stiff, trying to fit a mold, or are never able to relax. In that case, we have to judge whether it's us, or whether we are in a group that does not align with our character.
In the end, every positive change we make is ultimately going to affect us. It will make us more stable and content in our lives to a point where we see ourselves progressing very clearly. It does not take a lot of effort, because every woman, biologically, has the natural qualities of kindness, cultivation, compassion, and warmth. Let's take a step to strengthen them today, so we can excel in our careers and relationships, and leave people and things better than we found them.
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