I LOVE taking care of something smaller than me.
And I'm the smallest, believe me.
In all honesty, it's quite refreshing having someone be passive to me full time. I was always either willingly passive to people on a personal level, or never enjoyed being the active one when I had to. This is the first time I am truly loving providing for and teaching this little, now almost-3-months-old, puppy.
Men are singularly focused in nature, like the Sun, who gives its light to everyone without needing anything in return, while women are dualistic, like the Moon who takes the light of the Sun, cools it down to make it more palatable and soothing, and gives it to the Earth (being smaller than herself, like children or small animals). She is yin to the Sun and yang to the Earth.
As for me, having a dog (passive/Yin) has put me in the masculine (active/Yang) role according to this relativity, and I'm discovering new things every single day. I am learning about the struggles of men and why a woman being happy because of them, feels so rewarding to them.
My best friend told me how getting a dog would make me a better person, and I sure do feel majorly positive.
For starters, my puppy keeps me accountable towards time, having a routine, discipline, as well as towards learning more about life and the world, so I can provide the best for her. She never asked me to, of course, but I want to do that for her.
You know what she did to induce that in me? Absolutely nothing.
Ladies, you could (and should) be as passive as you can towards men in general, and if a man truly wants to take care of you, he would. He would want to become a better person for you without you having to pursue him or change your foundational essence.
Of course, things aren't always sunshine and rainbows. My puppy is rarely ever moody, but being a hound, has plenty of energy. Her play style is super, super wild and unpredictable and she growls the whole time. She even snapped at me and bit me super hard upon getting annoyed, twice. That's just her excess energy and strong emotions. That's her way of saying no.
I realized I have a lot of excessive energy too. I usually take it out by dancing, writing, or cooking. Sometimes when things get too overwhelming, I cry as well. However, little pups can not do that, and therefore need an outlet, so they bark, chew furniture or their leash, if not given proper exercise and playtime.
I did not know that.
I had absolutely no experience with dogs until 7 weeks ago, so naturally, that scared the hell out of me in the beginning.
That made me understand why a woman being unpredictable, emotional, and headstrong might be scary for men.
Are you not an ideal woman if you are all those things? That's absolutely not true.
I'm not saying you must never try to be a better person, but I realized one must learn to love their partner wherever they are.
If I just keep my puppy in her crate at all times, she'd be more frustrated than she would be if she just ran around being crazy for a while. That is not going to benefit either of us in the long run as she'd be more irritable with her pent up energy.
Similarly, a pent up woman is much more dangerous to a man and herself than one who can open her heart and cry.
A man must consistently show up for her and be stable, otherwise it becomes very hard for a woman to trust him.
But did I instantly understand all of this? No. Instead, I did what all men do.
I retreated into my metaphorical 'man cave' and distanced myself from her.
I used to get frustrated when men did that but now I wholeheartedly sympathize with them. I understand why they do it, and why it's very essential to briefly take a break and pull away from things.
I gave her food, took her on walks, in short- fulfilled all my 'duties' but nothing more than that. I let her play on her own but stopped playing with her. I was considering my entire decision of adopting her in the first place and whether I was even capable of handling her- whether I'd be better off having some other dog that was more calm and understanding- you know, the usual stuff that I'm sure men initially think about in their man-cave when women get too overwhelming.
This went on for about 1-2 days.
I did some research, talked to so many of my friends. They all said it was pretty normal but none of them seemed to have the answer to my exact issue and that left me even more clueless. However, that distance from her helped me have a clear head. It helped me think better and not only come up with a better solution but also rebuild my perseverance and mental strength. She's a very patient and understanding pup when she needs to be. She did not keep pestering or troubling me during that time. She did not push me to play with her and kept herself entertained as much as she could. If she hadn't, I would've honestly gone crazy.
And that is the value of a patient woman in a man's life.
Dogs are obviously much more carnal than humans and studying them helps you, as a woman, to connect with your own femininity- learn to follow your gut and libido, but also be understanding and patient until you are sure that things are getting out of hand and you need to take action in that situation.
Of course everything wasn't completely smooth. There were times where I was unsure whether I even knew what I wanted. If you've ever had to decide what breed of dog to adopt, you know you need it to match the pace of your own life. You can't adopt a border collie if you don't like to step out of your home, and you can't take a pug hiking.
Basically, you can't just pick the first dog you see without knowing anything about it.
But guess what I did.
I picked the first dog I saw without knowing anything about it.
However, there's a catch. The choice I made of adopting my puppy, was intuitive. I did it because my heart said so. I've seen hundreds of adoption appeals for dogs all my life and I've always wanted one, but never felt compelled to actually make it happen. Something inside me told me that she was mine and that her and I shared a soul.
And we do.
But I didn't know that.
I was terrified of her growling and running around all the time while I like to chill in a relaxed environment for the majority of my day. I was terrified of her not obeying me, terrified that she would try to 'dominate' me, which made me question whether I did the right thing by adopting her and whether I should give her away to a home that would be more suitable for her. This uncertainty was not because I didn't absolutely love her but because I didn't want to be inadequate for her.
I realized this is how a huge number of men feel when they tell a woman they don't deserve her. I'm not saying you must submit to an uncertain man like that (if you haven't) and try to 'fix him' afterwards, but I empathize with and feel for them. It's very sad that strong, capable men in our society often end up feeling less masculine than they are. My heart goes out to them and I hope they find the power inside of themselves that we all are born with.
The domination part, by the way, is absolute sludge.
Dogs don't want to dominate you. They see you as their parent, just like a male spiritual adept is, energetically, a 'father' to his consort.
Getting angry with a dog when they don't do things the way you want them to, is pointless, and the same goes for people of both genders. First of all, the dog won't know why you're angry. Second of all, if you reprimand someone for doing something 'wrong' without showing them the 'right' way to do things and praise/reward them when they do them that way, it's pointless anyway. The dog will continue doing the 'wrong' thing because they don't know what the 'right' thing is.
Your dog is (in most cases) smaller and physically less powerful than you. Moreover, they see you as a parent, even if they are sassy sometimes. Not only do they have immense respect and gratitude for you, but nothing is worse than a parent's (the giver's) betrayal- the person we are supposed to turn towards for support. Similarly, men, in most cases, are physically stronger than women, and a good man or a male adept would never take advantage of a woman's devotion, physically or through verbal aggression.
After almost 6 weeks of living with my puppy, we are best friends now. I built communication with her by giving her treats whenever she did something the way I wanted her to and ignoring whenever she made a mistake. I gave her the space to learn. I loved her at whatever point she was. By watching me be so patient and slow with her consistently, she eventually realized that whatever I do would be in her best interest and she eventually started complying with every single thing I would ask of her.
That is true trust.
You can never ever make a Yin being trust and be devoted to you by force because even if they verbally say they are, they will never be so, energetically. They will never choose you as their Yang counterpart, their provider, and as their Sun with their whole heart. It takes time and immense patience on the man's part to build trust.
On the more niche - astrological- side of things, I learned positive reinforcement training by watching Zak George's YouTube videos and reading his books. He has his Moon in Uttar Ashadha nakshatra, which is the height and maturity of Sun amongst the 3 Sun-ruled nakshatras, which makes it one of the most Yang placements. It's no surprise that he would preach this kind of a training method since here, the Sun, who is a king, 'matures' and realizes that true leadership is being in service of his kingdom rather than dominating his people.
A great king does not need to be constantly reminded that he is a great king to merely feed his ego. He does not need to repress others to feel like one either. His topmost priority is to take care of those who he is responsible for.
And that makes him a good man.
I have mixed feelings as I often do when I learn something new, but I absolutely enjoyed sharing my heart with you. Thank you for sticking around until the end.
Love,
-Sam <3
This is great! what an amazing perspective.